kiting / windsurfing prenup
kiting / windsurfing prenup
I ran across this on kiteforum.com, and thought it was pretty funny:
The Wind Clause
I the undersigned have read, understood and agreed to the following:
I will let kiter___________ (insert your name here) out of any previous plans we mave have made if there is a chance the wind might come up. I will never ask him to reconsider our previous plans, OR give him shiite for breaking off said plans to go kiting
I will let said kiter ride as often as the wind blows and not make any plans for him/us if the wind forecast shows its gonna blow for days
I will let said kiter out of making dinner or cleaning the dishes if he needs to clean his gear, rerig, or untangle lines.
I will pick up said kiter at any downwind location at anytime if he has it in his heart to do a downwinder. I will rearrange my schedule to fit the optimal wind window for his downwinder
I WILL NEVER tell him he cant spend money on new kite gear, equip, or related paraphenial, even if the money comes out of our joint acct.
I WILL NEVER complain if hes too tired after a day of kiting and he hasnt the energy to engage in coital tenderness. I will eagerly await when he is ready to participate or simply do all the hard work for him.
I will NEVER COMPLAIN that he spends too much time on the water and not enough with me
If I have expressed intrest in learning to kite from the aforementioned kiter. I will patiently wait until he is completely exhausted and could not possible ride another wave, or is simply bored with current winds; before he is to give me lessons. I will never ask "dont you think Im ready for the next step hun?" I will always wait till he tells me Im ready
If I choose to go to the beach with him, I will diligently document his, and his friends session, with both video and still photo shots, until all the ram capacity is used, at which point Ill go get a new memory card, if there is one available. If no such store is within the vicinty, I will use oil paints on canvas. If I have failed to bring those along, I will use my own blood to paint his likeness in the sand.
If the wind ever stops blowing, I will console him as best I can, with both tenderness and understanding. If that fails to work I will distract him with endless hours of oral satisfaction regardless of the blisters that might form
If we are to ever become married. Our honeymoon spot will be selected, soley on the merits of wind speeds, sand quality, and the quality/quantitiy of point breaks.
I WILL LOVE MY KITER FOR BEING A KITER and never ask him to change
I ________________ (insert girls/boys name here) have read and understood the above statements and agree to comply fully with the bounds of this binding agreement.
The Wind Clause
I the undersigned have read, understood and agreed to the following:
I will let kiter___________ (insert your name here) out of any previous plans we mave have made if there is a chance the wind might come up. I will never ask him to reconsider our previous plans, OR give him shiite for breaking off said plans to go kiting
I will let said kiter ride as often as the wind blows and not make any plans for him/us if the wind forecast shows its gonna blow for days
I will let said kiter out of making dinner or cleaning the dishes if he needs to clean his gear, rerig, or untangle lines.
I will pick up said kiter at any downwind location at anytime if he has it in his heart to do a downwinder. I will rearrange my schedule to fit the optimal wind window for his downwinder
I WILL NEVER tell him he cant spend money on new kite gear, equip, or related paraphenial, even if the money comes out of our joint acct.
I WILL NEVER complain if hes too tired after a day of kiting and he hasnt the energy to engage in coital tenderness. I will eagerly await when he is ready to participate or simply do all the hard work for him.
I will NEVER COMPLAIN that he spends too much time on the water and not enough with me
If I have expressed intrest in learning to kite from the aforementioned kiter. I will patiently wait until he is completely exhausted and could not possible ride another wave, or is simply bored with current winds; before he is to give me lessons. I will never ask "dont you think Im ready for the next step hun?" I will always wait till he tells me Im ready
If I choose to go to the beach with him, I will diligently document his, and his friends session, with both video and still photo shots, until all the ram capacity is used, at which point Ill go get a new memory card, if there is one available. If no such store is within the vicinty, I will use oil paints on canvas. If I have failed to bring those along, I will use my own blood to paint his likeness in the sand.
If the wind ever stops blowing, I will console him as best I can, with both tenderness and understanding. If that fails to work I will distract him with endless hours of oral satisfaction regardless of the blisters that might form
If we are to ever become married. Our honeymoon spot will be selected, soley on the merits of wind speeds, sand quality, and the quality/quantitiy of point breaks.
I WILL LOVE MY KITER FOR BEING A KITER and never ask him to change
I ________________ (insert girls/boys name here) have read and understood the above statements and agree to comply fully with the bounds of this binding agreement.
